Why do People Assume so Much?,

This morning I caught up with a colleague who, while not exactly a friend, I enjoy spending time with and with whom I share many views. She was married three weeks ago after many years of self-imposed singledom. She's beautiful both inside and out, she's focussed on her successful career, she has friends a plenty. And she always said she would stay single.
And then she found a love strong enough to change her mind and she is happy as happy can be.


But on her wedding day friends told her that they were so glad she was finally married - that they had been worried about her, that they didn't really feel she was going to be happy till she found a husband. She told me she paused and wondered how argumentative about such a topic it was prudent to be on one's wedding day, and chose to say nothing.


My question is this: why do so many people think that you are somehow happier when you're married than when you're single? I've been married and it wasn't the wedded bliss I had imagined and I am so much happier now that I am single again. I'm not saying that being married to the right person isn't wonderful but life can be equally as wonderful when you make your own decisions and when your space is your own.


So many girls (I don't think fellows do this so much but I could be wrong) waste so much time looking for Mr Right that they are prepared to put up with Mr Wrong rather than be alone and miss out on the very real pleasures that single life can bring. I say embrace the life you have now and let whatever will be be!

Finding peace within

This year I have started learning yoga - 'practising' they like to call it. I go to a well-attended class on Thursday late afternoon - a break between work and home. A halt, a suspension. 


When we arrive, we find a mat and bolsters and we lie in a knees akimbo style on our backs and prepare our bodies and minds for the work ahead. I fidget, I scratch. My mind races. I think about my day and what still needs to be done. I am conscious of my fat stomach. I keep my eyes closed to gain a sense of perspective and inward thinking but really what I want to do is check other people out...always curious!


And then our calm and talented teacher makes a start and for the next hour or so, she demands concentration and perfection. Who knew there were muscles there?
As the session progresses I become oblivious to the others in the room and think only of myself - what is my body doing? How is my breath helping? Can I release any tension I'm feeling?


And at the end we lie once again on our backs to relax - legs straight this time and I am still. My mind is at peace, my body too. I walk out with new found energy and a spring in my step. Pure bliss.


ps When I say I am oblivious to the others in the room that is except for the woman who invariably seems to end up right in front of me. When the instructor repeatedly says "Big toe mounds touching" why does this woman always have her feet apart? I am tempted to kick them together!

Today I'm grateful for...

The whole point of counting your blessings each night is to concentrate on what you do have in life, not to lament about what's not working so well. That was what this blog was supposed to promote.
And so, I've come to to the realisation that I need to try it for a few days to see whether it really does pull me up by my boot straps, whether it really helps to put my head in a different spot.
Keep it simple. Focus on the positive.

1. The weather is perfect - warm days and cool autumn nights. Lots of energy can be found on days like these.
2. Two parents who are alive, alert, interesting and interested.
3. Being fit and healthy - taken for granted until its taken away from us.

Simple things but in no way small.

Wake up call required!

I'm struggling at the moment - hate to admit it but I feel flat and slightly irritated with people - most people actually. What's all that about do you think? I think I'm doing an okay job of balancing work and me time - maybe the 'me time' is a bit one sided toward getting stuff done - you know the cleaning, the washing, the shopping, but I'm still practising my yoga and taking the dog for lovely walks (getting rid of a bit of aggro with that), but still I feel let down and disinterested. I don't like feeling this way. And what I've learned in life is that whining becomes tiring for the listener (sorry folks), and that no matter who is in my life, no-one is going to make me feel better about my life than yours truly.


I went to the Farmer's Market this morning, my favourite time of the week, and brought home lots of delicious fresh produce and beautiful red flowers...nothing.


I've come back from walking Maggie near the lake - restful, quiet and fresh...nothing.


I have a 3 day weekend ahead of me full of possibilities...nothing.


I'm searching for an answer - just don't know where. And I assume I'm making you frustrated with my complaining. You'll let me know won't you?

My favourite time

My very favourite time of the week is Friday late afternoon. I'm home from work and I have shaken the week off and have this wonderful feeling of time and opportunity. Two whole days that are all mine to spend as I wish. Of course the days go by in a flash and by Sunday evening I'm reflecting on all the things that I didnt get done, but that never alters I I feel the very next Friday.


So here I am late on a Friday night, and I've been pottering around doing my own thing. I'll go to bed soon relaxed and happy. Refer to yesterday's post...have I done any of those things? I've read a few chapters, I've caught up on a favourite TV show, I've blogged and I've watered, so maybe I have...but not enough.


Tomorrow morning a bike ride and then I'm going to tackle that knitting. The garden? Mmm We'll see.
But for now I'm so grateful for the possibilities the weekend holds.

Where does time go?

I want to start straight away by saying that I'm grateful today for some things I'm also going to whinge about. Let's get that out of the way first. I love that I belong to a professional association that provides me with a fresh perspective and I love that I am privileged enough to have the resources to be engaged in interesting things.


This morning I was reflecting on how tricky it is to fit everything in - I work obviously but I'm not counting that - I'm talking about my 'leisure activities'. If I were filling in an online dating profile I would say that I garden, walk, read, bike ride, dabble with the computer and practise yoga.


But the truth is that I have a garden that is half started - plenty of ideas but not enough end product, I take my dog for walks as often as we can manage and never enough, I am trying to start a knitting project but it is sitting forlornly on my couch, I belong to a book club and have a commitment to read, but have only read the first two chapters of this month's book, I have just bought my second bicycle (now that story is a whole other post about how stupid I am) but haven't ridden anywhere,  I read other people's blogs but get behind posting on my own, and I should be into my third week of yoga but I missed it today. I also play an online game with a friend (one of those multi player options that are super fun but quite silly for a woman of my age) but haven't managed that for a week and when she asked me the other day if I wanted to play, I told her I didn't have time! Where does the time go? Other people can manage to fit way more into their lives. But I always seem to be "robbing Peter to pay Paul". Where does all the time go? Share your secrets for better leisure management with me!


What kind of person actually complains about how many leisure activities she has to fit in? I'll accept any metaphorical slaps!

Alone is enough

Today I had the blissful opportunity to come home after work and talk to...nobody. I love being with people, have always done so and my job demands of me constant interactions with a wide range of personalities. This is one of the elements of the job I love so much. But it is a job of service. It requires giving to others.
Sometimes after a particularly long day, or maybe it 's because it has challenged me, there seems no better reward than having some time to retreat into my own space, into my own head. It can be quiet there, it can be forgiving. I always feel sorry for people who can't seem to enjoy being alone - I think they're missing out on something special and soul reviving.


So today I'm thankful for:
The extra coffee bought for me that I wasn't expecting.
The hastily organised bike ride to share with colleagues on the weekend
The few quiet hours I spent with myself.